Friday, November 23, 2012

Getting Comfortable with being Uncomfortable

The Universe is in constant motion. We're in constant motion. Atoms are in constant motion. Nothing sits still.

So if we're changing constantly and so is our environment, then of course it makes sense that at some point or other we'll feel the need to move in order to expand further. In the same manner that you(r parents) have to buy/make new clothes and shoes as you're growing. Nobody can fit into their old baby shoes. They're not supposed to!

I've found that this is the same for me with my spiritual and emotional growth. When I started on my spiritual path I used to run and hide when the Universe whispered into my ear that it was time to expand or go to the next step. My skin would crawl and my body would ache. The fear of the unknown or the pain of change (or worse... of failure!!!) was so great that change would often require me to go into Braxton Hicks or get a kick in the pants from life to get me to move out of my uncomfortable (yet vaguely bearable and apparently safer) spot.

For a while now I've been feeling the discomfort of needing a change. It feels horrible and my first instinct is to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn, but I'm really trying to create from a new place of gentle motion (as opposed to toppling the entire house of cards and burning bridges so that I can absolutely not turn back). It's frustrating & uncomfortable. I often feel so impatient that I could burst, but I do believe that if I create the change from within first then I'll attract the right situation TO me, rather than having to force it to happen. Forceful/unconscious change often puts me in a situation that isn't much better than the previous one and then once again I stick there for a while determined to try to make that one work... I've repeated that pattern long enough. Was it Einstein that said that the definition of madness is doing the same thing hoping for a different result?

The first fear that always springs to mind about changing anything in my external environment is that you take yourself with you wherever you go. True, so what's the point about changing external stuff? And what is my reason for wanting change and intention for the new stuff I want in my life: Am I just running away? Am I thinking that the grass is always greener... Am I going to create more of the same when I get to the greener grass? (There's usually a huge process of self-talk internally that goes on as I go within to see what space I am acting from...)


Honestly - if I really have to think about it - I actually adapt really quickly to my new environments and then almost always wonder what took me so long to make the jump...

This time I'd like to use the Law of Attraction and visualise myself fulfilled as well this time rather than acting from a feeling of unfulfillment and lack. It can't hurt to try. The other changes have created minor improvements, my life is definitely in forward motion, but this time I envision deep fulfillment!

There is a flow in nature. Sure sometimes a brand new island gets created overnight when a volcano erupts, but that isn't the only way to create or expand my world.

I've spent my life trying to fit myself in where I thought I 'should' fit in:
'You're smart so you should get a college degree'.
and heaven forbid I be a 'starving artist'.

Now I'm taking back the reigns and turning into the creator of my own journey I consciously look for what fits ME - not the other way around!
No small task as this time I'm putting serious effort into doing it differently, which goes against all my patterns (and sitting in this discomfort goes against a lot of my instincts), but suddenly I'm finding comfort within the discomfort. It's not like I'm not acknowledging the discomfort or the message that the discomfort sends me - on the contrary, I'm deeply hearing it all the way to the core of my being - I'm just not re-acting hastily this time or acting from fear or wound. This time I'm choosing to remain the creator and acting from a centered place within the chaos. It's like standing the eye of the hurricane...

(Yes it's still scary as sh*t, but worth the effort as something inside feels that this is a far more fulfilling and joyful way to live... ;)

Friday, November 16, 2012

Why (single) aunts (or uncles) should babysit their sibling's kids

Because little children are magic!!!! Their laughter is so pure. Even their crying is so real and honest!

They don't hide what they feel or censor their opinions! They speak their truth. They don't censor their words for fear of offending someone. Children also see right through stuff and call you on your bullsh*t! It's very refreshing!

They really bring you into the present. You have to be right there for them: paying attention and listening. You need to have eyes in the back of your head while they run around and play, so they help you expand your awareness.

Because you have to put their needs first regularly. They teach you selflessness.

When children ask questions they help you define who you are. I have to figure out very clearly who I am and what I myself believe in when they ask me questions. They don't just hear my words, they feel my honesty, as well as how much I believe in what I'm saying. They'll call me on it if I'm not 100% behind whatever I say. I also find I have to choose my words consciously, as what I say to them could affect their entire lives by shaping their way of thinking! Chances are most of us have scars from our childhood from comments made by people in our lives who were acting from a wounded place of pain and had no idea the impact their unconscious words would make.


Children forgive so much faster than we do. They don't let things weigh them down, they just move on to the next thing and back to having fun again. You also learn to be intuitive around them. Sometimes they don't have the words for what is wrong (or right either) they can express so much with a smile, a laugh or a look.


Children remind you to be patient. They'll make you play, stop and smell the flowers, they help you to accept life as it is and not resist so much. My To Do list gets put totally on hold when I'm with them and I really appreciate that luxury!

They notice everything and absolutely everything can be turned into a game for them. What an awesome way to live!! My inner child gets to play along with theirs. Spending time in play with my niece and nephew reminded me of what delights me!!!! We get artsy, creative and have fun.

You have NO idea how big your heart is until you've loved a child - especially one that is practically your own flesh and blood too!!!! Seriously. I can't imagine my life without these two little angels in it! I had no idea how much love I had inside of me until they showed me where it was. And I know that, if called upon, there is WAY more inside!

A few years ago I had to move in with my brother and his family for a few months for financial reasons, then when I moved out we started off with family dinners once a week on a Tuesday, then we decided it was too hard to get the kids to sleep on a school night so let's move our dinners to Fridays. As a valentine's gift to my brother and his wife one year I sent them off out for dinner and a movie while the kids and I stayed in with movies and pizza. Then I asked if I could have the kids for an afternoon a week so I started to pick up my niece from school on Friday afternoons as her school is a few blocks from me. Now we do sleepovers and I can't wait to spend time with them every week.


It's so good for everyone. My brother and his wife are both doctors and they work long hours, so it gives them time to go on dates too or just chill out when they get home. Once a week on a Friday evening we do a family dinner. (I'd like to think) it helps them when I'm pitching in. It must be so hard to be parenting 24/7, so an extra pair of hands so you can step back and just breathe (and for someone else to be the 'bad guy' so it's not always you, or just extra adult to add back up adds to the adult's support system ;). These two kids know they are so very very loved with so many of us around willing to give them our time, our attention and our hugs and kisses. They are not spoiled brats, but rather quite grounded with the knowledge that they are loved and loveable. It is not even a question to them.

My life is so much richer because of them in my life. When I'm around them I strive to be the best me that I can, to lead by example from my heart. Thus they stretch me to go further and be bigger and better!!!!

xxxxx

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Waste of Time?

Yesterday I spent around 5 hours on the line to Telkom's helpdesk trying to sort out my broken internet connection. That doesn't include a trip to the store to switch routers and I still have to call back on Monday to speak to the accounts department (who don't work on weekends), but at least we now know where the fault lies.

A year ago I would have felt very differently about those 5 hours. I would have viewed them as time wasted and time that I will never get back. Nowadays I view spending time doing mundane tasks as spiritual practice.


If I looked at the usefulness of my time as having to accomplish something, sure it can be seen as a waste, but if I look at the quality of my time rather as how am I BEing in those moments that are difficult, despite what I am DOing, then it's a whole different story! (I think that's what they mean when they say we are human beings not human doings!) Am I being present, am I feeling, what am I feeling, how do I feel physically?

How do I react when I get angry: Do I supress it? Do I judge myself as bad for being angry?

I won't say I spent all 5 of those hours being totally zen. I was pretty cool til about 3 hours in when I got cut off and had to call back. I swore very loudly and gave a grumpy woman a hard time when she made me repeat all the steps I'd already gone through. When she rather ungraciously offered me the option to hang up and call back on Monday I declined and MADE her go thorough all the steps again with me! She wasn't so gracious either when I apologised for giving her a hard time, but she's welcome to be like that if she so chooses. Perhaps she sent me to the store to get my modem tested as punishment (knowing full well they'd tell me initially that they couldn't do it), but thanks to my persistance and her need to prove me wrong, I now have the brand spanking new upgraded modem, so she can keep her attitude and I'll keep the new modem LOL. 


I did spend more than a few hours on that call seeing what I could be grateful for: i.e. I'm extremely grateful for a cordless speakerphone. No crick in my neck. My time wasn't totally 'unproductive': I managed to fold a load of laundry, do another, make some lunch and worked out the recipe for my first attempt at homemade antiperspirant which has turned out to be simply fantastic.


Apart from that one lady, every other person I spoke to during those calls I had quite pleasant interchanges with. I have been searching for deeper meaning and purpose in my life and one of the most basic things I've discovered in my raison-d-etre is that I wish to spread love, happiness and joy to those with whom I come in contact. (Well those that I feel deserve it anyway - idiot drivers are definitely excluded, I wish they'd all poof into their own alternate universe and go p!$$ each other off. There are rather a lot of ignoranuses out there on the roads!). I got to laugh and share some kind words and positivity with most of the people I interacted with - and there were quite a few people I interacted with on that call. 


I'm not sure when the switch in attitude happened, but it took those 5 hours for me to notice it ;)

Friday, November 9, 2012

13 things I've found to work for my health and nutrition

2 DISCLAIMERS: Firstly: I'm neither a Doctor nor a Nutritionalist, but I am an eater and a 'digester' ;) I have, however, spoken to many of them and these are the tips I've got from them as well as gleaned from the internet and I practice these tips myself.

Secondly: I think it takes all kinds to make a world and each one of us is magnificently unique and therefore different to others. There are some general rules but "what is food for the goose may be poison for the gander" so what works for me may not work for you. I've spent years of trial and error exploring and these are my tips for exploration. I'd just like to share what works for me and some awesome links I've found that furthered my understanding. Please feel free to Google things for yourself and figure out what works for you ;).


For many years I suffered from IBS, which has now completely gone. I also smoked and drank for about 23 years (most of those years doing both heavily!), which I no longer do. The upside to that was that I knew I was putting my system under strain and I needed to clear my body of those toxins, so I resolved to eat as healthily as possible to make up for that - I bought food as close to it's original state, with as few preservatives, as possible - so I mostly made my own meals from scratch. That way I'd know what went into it, as opposed to buying prepackaged meals and not understanding what half of the additives were on the labels. I also get food triggered migraines so I have to be incredibly careful about what I eat. Simple things like custard or cheese flavoured chips can knock me flat out for days on end.


1. If you only take one supplement, make it probiotics. (this was told to me by a Doctor who specialises in nutrition). I took it to heart and found me a lovely liquid probiotic that I try to take daily.


2. Eat as alkaline a diet as possible: Despite being vegetarian and sprouting my own beans (which I then consume raw) I still find I'm slightly acidic because of an extreme aversion to exercise. About a month ago I decided to boost my alkalinity with half a teaspoon of Epsom Salts (magnesium laden to help prevent migraines) and half a teaspoon of Baking Soda (NOT Baking Powder, which may contain aluminium and is more acidic). I feel better than I have in ages, less stiff and my digestive system is less sluggish. In fact, since I've started doing this the weight that I gained by moving my addiction from cigarettes to chocolate is now finally budging!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgBql4N9xGs

3. Cut out as much sugary junk as possible. (that doesn't mean go for the sweetener option). Try to get your sugar from fruit. Watch "Sugar, The Bitter Truth". They explain it better than I could. You do need an hour and a half to watch it, but in the grand scheme of things this is a fantastic hour and a half well worth spending doing this! So I cut out a lot of unrefined sugar, but  I'm still working on this one


4. Omega 3's 6's and 9's. Chia seeds and Acai Berry are my friends. With an eating disorder at a young age and an preferrance for low fat food, I also starved my body of all the good Omegas. Lack of these internal lubricants left me stiff and sent me running for fat laden snacks out of desperation. My body knows what it wants and sends massive craving signals, that's a good thing though - i.e. I know when I'm low on iron because I'll crave things like spinach or broccoli, so ultimately it's an extremely handy thing. I now listen to my cravings a lot more consciously than I used to - i.e. craving for chocolate is probably magnesium and, rather than reaching for the soya lecithin laden bar of hydrogenated stuff I can eat Raw Cacao or take a magnesium supplement. Same as if I'm craving fat I'll try chia seeds first. Again if you watch  "Sugar, The Bitter Truth" they explain how fat digestion triggers the full response and sugar doesn't. I'm no longer constantly snacking like I used to!


5. Drink loads of water, preferrably find your nearest spring if you can or else boil all water once before you drink it. Every night I boil a full kettle before I go to sleep and I leave the lid off so that the chlorine can evaporate. I then fill up my water bottle for the day (I don't believe in buying bottled water and adding to the plastic problem in the environment). Make sure your bottle is Number 2 plastic (I can't remember why, I'll find out again LOL). Spring water is better if you get it. It is more alive that way (refer the movie Water).


6. Use soap and beauty products that you could eat. Your skin is your biggest organ and absorbs loads of nasties into it from beauty products. What's the point of eating all this healthy goodness, exercising and then slathering on products to be absorbed into your system that are not good for you. In South Africa we have Faithful-to-Nature. If you live overseas Google is your friend LOL. I started with with things you do daily like a flouride-free toothpaste and paraben free face cream. Now I make my own homemade deodorant and I can feel the difference.



7. Learn how to make your own household cleaning products. I have terrible allergies to shop bought household cleaning products and have learned to make my own. Perhaps I'll do another blog on them but there is a ton of information out there on what to use. Main ingredients are vinegar, lemons, borax and baking soda. Cheap, healthy and will make a MASSIVE difference to your life if you suffer with allergies like I do.

8. Do some type of detox once every six months. (Once again speak to your doctor before you do anything - I'm just sharing what works for me). 

There are too many different ways to detox to mention and I'm no specialist so I'm not going to go there. Plus there are two types of ways to detox: The push detox, which is when you eat loads of antioxidants/minerals, which stimulate your body to health and your cells get moving on getting healthier and do a cellular springclean, and the pull detox, which is when you actively take products to help you chelate nasties and shift them out of your system. You should most certainly be helping your liver flush the toxins rather than having to put them back into storage again for the next spring.
I do a Gall Bladder Cleanse annually and I love it. It really helps boost my system and 'un-sluggish' me. I did a Parasite Cleanse and it was unbelievably hard, but totally worth it. Yes, our bodies are detoxing all the time. We live in cities, breathe exhaust fumes in traffic, our bodies take in Oxygen and put out Carbon Dioxide etc etc etc. For me, after abusing my body for years, I just find it is just good to help my system along once in a while. (i.e. You can run barefoot or with takkies/trainers/sneakers on - which would you prefer?). 
We should service our bodies way more regularly than our cars. I also take Zeolite and liver support to boost my system while I detox.

9. Superfoods. What a win!!!! Things like this: Baobab powder has more calcium than milk. Awesome!!!! I am lactose intolerant and, while I refuse to give up my cheese or yoghurt totally, I have now found that as a vegetarian nowadays I have so many options for nutritional input available to me than I did when I was younger and trying to be a vegetarian then. I ended up being pescatarian then, with the occasional steak craving every 6 months or so, now you can get so many vegetable proteins it's awesome!!!!! I started off trying each one out and now I've built up a stock in my kitchen - every month I buy one superfood bulk so I'm always stocked up and it's not a 6 monthly whack to the wallet.


10. Try eat more raw and at least try to get organic water-based foods - i.e. those foodstuffs that will really soak in the pesticides and do more harm than good eating. I sprout my beans and add them to my soups or stews after cooking those. I have a serving of fruit and salad daily. I can't stand the taste of cucumber, but it is a superfood too. There are ways to eat foods that are good for you that you don't like the taste of. I now cut up my cucumber and make the salad the night before, so that the apple cider vinegar has soaked into it properly and gives it a more tangy taste as opposed to the slimy taste I hated! Eating raw is not something you jump into overnight as your digestive system needs to adapt, as does your kitchen. Raw nuts are fabulous sources of protein and other goodies, as opposed to cooked nuts have destroyed a lot of the goodness with the heat and hydrogenated the fat. Raw food has more bio-available enzymes and minerals. I eat half-cooked & half-raw and I love it. Some food is better for you cooked like tomatoes (NOT canned!!!!!)


11. Apple Cider Vinegar. Awesome for system alkalinity, preventing heartburn and getting rid of warts!!! Magic stuff. Do be careful to water it down if you drink it for heartburn or clean teeth after use to prevent it damaging your teeth enamel.


12. Non-irradiated herbs and spices. Ok so I do own and use a microwave on occasion (always wait 2 minutes after you've taken the item out of the microwave before consuming it otherwise you're putting radiating products into your body), but the wonders of non-nuked herbs and spices is phenomenal. (Also I just read somewhere that if you add black pepper to tumeric you exponentially increase it's 'absorbability' - is that a word? ;) Also things like Dulse and Oryx Salt that haven't been messed around with have vast bio-available minerals in them to remineralise your body! Loving it!!!


13. If you hate to exercise AT LEAST try to stretch 5 mins in the morning and 5 mins in the evening. At LEAST do that to stimulate flow in your lymphatic system. Your lymphatic system is not attached to your heart like your blood system and needs your movement to boost it. (Note how I've left this right until the end LOL ;)


PS: If you are considering being vegetarian but aren't sure how to get your proteins consider that Brad Pitt is vegan and get a load of him!!! He stopped eating meat after watching the movie "Forks Over Knives". Not preaching here, just sharing that I love the fact that nothing has to die in order for me to live. The food I eat is generally still alive and I know that I am what I eat and I absolutely love eating the way I do. I feel better now in my fortieth year than I did at 30.



PPS: I see I've left off meditation. We are mind, body and soul and all three need to be nurtured and kept in balance. Stress manifests itself physically, so meditating, grounding and centering help me physically JUST as much as awesome nutrition - if not more...

PPPS: FLOSS!!! 


Some more links to informative videos you might want to watch:
One Answer to Cancer