The Universe is in constant motion. We're in constant motion. Atoms are in constant motion. Nothing sits still.
So if we're changing constantly and so is our environment, then of course it makes sense that at some point or other we'll feel the need to move in order to expand further. In the same manner that you(r parents) have to buy/make new clothes and shoes as you're growing. Nobody can fit into their old baby shoes. They're not supposed to!
I've found that this is the same for me with my spiritual and emotional growth. When I started on my spiritual path I used to run and hide when the Universe whispered into my ear that it was time to expand or go to the next step. My skin would crawl and my body would ache. The fear of the unknown or the pain of change (or worse... of failure!!!) was so great that change would often require me to go into Braxton Hicks or get a kick in the pants from life to get me to move out of my uncomfortable (yet vaguely bearable and apparently safer) spot.
For a while now I've been feeling the discomfort of needing a change. It feels horrible and my first instinct is to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn, but I'm really trying to create from a new place of gentle motion (as opposed to toppling the entire house of cards and burning bridges so that I can absolutely not turn back). It's frustrating & uncomfortable. I often feel so impatient that I could burst, but I do believe that if I create the change from within first then I'll attract the right situation TO me, rather than having to force it to happen. Forceful/unconscious change often puts me in a situation that isn't much better than the previous one and then once again I stick there for a while determined to try to make that one work... I've repeated that pattern long enough. Was it Einstein that said that the definition of madness is doing the same thing hoping for a different result?
The first fear that always springs to mind about changing anything in my external environment is that you take yourself with you wherever you go. True, so what's the point about changing external stuff? And what is my reason for wanting change and intention for the new stuff I want in my life: Am I just running away? Am I thinking that the grass is always greener... Am I going to create more of the same when I get to the greener grass? (There's usually a huge process of self-talk internally that goes on as I go within to see what space I am acting from...)
Honestly - if I really have to think about it - I actually adapt really quickly to my new environments and then almost always wonder what took me so long to make the jump...
This time I'd like to use the Law of Attraction and visualise myself fulfilled as well this time rather than acting from a feeling of unfulfillment and lack. It can't hurt to try. The other changes have created minor improvements, my life is definitely in forward motion, but this time I envision deep fulfillment!
There is a flow in nature. Sure sometimes a brand new island gets created overnight when a volcano erupts, but that isn't the only way to create or expand my world.
I've spent my life trying to fit myself in where I thought I 'should' fit in:
'You're smart so you should get a college degree'.
and heaven forbid I be a 'starving artist'.
Now I'm taking back the reigns and turning into the creator of my own journey I consciously look for what fits ME - not the other way around!
No small task as this time I'm putting serious effort into doing it differently, which goes against all my patterns (and sitting in this discomfort goes against a lot of my instincts), but suddenly I'm finding comfort within the discomfort. It's not like I'm not acknowledging the discomfort or the message that the discomfort sends me - on the contrary, I'm deeply hearing it all the way to the core of my being - I'm just not re-acting hastily this time or acting from fear or wound. This time I'm choosing to remain the creator and acting from a centered place within the chaos. It's like standing the eye of the hurricane...
(Yes it's still scary as sh*t, but worth the effort as something inside feels that this is a far more fulfilling and joyful way to live... ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment