The Universe is conspiring FOR you not against you…

I have just decided to take the leap and start an admin suppport business from home - supporting other small businesses who only need (or can only afford) part-time help. My vision is to make the world a better place for all of us, sharing my well-rounded international expertise with small businesses, at the same time giving myself variety, financial and mental stimulation. What a win/win situation. So what happens... within 24 hours my computer crashed LOL. Why does it happen so often that as soon as I make a commitment to do something from now on that makes my life ‘better’, it seems like the opposite immediately just got sent my way… Again!!! Really!!!! Why?

(Luckily I believe in a don't get mad, get to the bottom of why this is happening attitude - so I breathe, take a step back and ponder this from a Law of Attraction perspective ;)

Firstly I believe that our lives follow a trajectory (basically we can go through life being on autopilot…) I’ll elaborate…

The simplest way I can explain that is that we all vibrate at a certain frequency:
(We’re all made up of atoms. Atoms are not stationary. We are not stationary. Anything that moves emits waves and makes a sound – even if we can’t consciously hear it - i.e. the tree in the forest LOL ;). The frequency that we vibrate at determines what is attracted into our lives. i.e. if we are consistently vibrating at the higher frequencies of love, peace and gratitude then we will attract those types of experiences into our lives. If we are vibrating at the lower frequencies of jealousy, rage, frustration or bitterness we attract more of the same (pretty much the Law of Attraction).

So if we consistently emit on one frequency range and our life follows patterns it’s almost like we have an internal sonar GPS for our lives. We’re headed in a certain direction according to the frequency programmed in. A plane, for example is only directly on course 3% of the time of the flight, the rest of the time it is readjusting but headed in the right direction. Same thing if you are driving your car and you hit a bump in the road. Your steering wheel is never actually still… A boat heading a certain way will also have to readjust in order to hold the end destination in sight. Hence how you can go through life on autopilot (this can also work for you not just against you).

So if I’ve been emitting who I am at a certain frequency range and I’ve been headed in a certain direction for a while there are a lot of messages that I have previously sent out into the Universe with my old intentions. If I want to change that direction I still have those old intentions that will come and try to readjust my direction back to the way that it was set to go (Imagine that annoying voice on your GPS telling you to take the next exit… autopilot isn’t always the best route) Hence things that will seem unfair / uncalled for / depressing / or that the Universe is NOT supportive of my new direction will come my way to try to knock me back into the old patterns... Actually the Universe will be extremely supportive of new me if I can hold tight on to the new course, it’s just being supportive of the old messages I sent out and supporting the old me in my old direction.

This changing of patterns isn’t always hard, and it doesn’t always have to be (but when it is, it helps me a lot to bear this factor in mind)…

The Walking Wounded

Are we all walking around with wounds and raw etheric skin, afraid to bump into one another for fear of causing pain?

I have two sets of neighbours in the flats (apartments) on either side of me. If I ever have to ask the boys to keep it down after midnight on a week or even a weekend night the response is always 'oh yes sure sorry we didn't notice the time' and they keep it down. However, if I ask the girls - who have boyfriends with booming voices - to take it to another room in their flat that is not so close to my one roomed place they got all persecution complex on me. Same request... Totally different response!

Then there's the grumpy old man who works in the same plaza that I do. I asked him once if he wouldn't mind standing away from the front of the entrance when he smoked so that it didn't blow straight down into the gallery and he nearly flipped his noodle. But on another day when I let a lady know that her smoke was blowing down and would she mind standing away from the entrance she was so kind and apologised for not realising and has been most considerate since then. Again: same question, same approach, totally different response.

We were doing an exercise in a workshop I did recently on the Authentic Self and we were asked to visualise our critics standing in front of us and facing us and we were supposed to just feel whatever came up from that. I had about 6 people in mine (myself included yes LOL). I noticed that in my head I had them lined them up from 'worst' to 'least' critical LOL. The strangest thing I noticed then was that my 'worst' critics were the most wounded ones. They've been hurt in life and are now lashing out in their pain - to the point where I don't want to go anywhere near them!

I've often pondered how to deal with the grumpy old man in the center who now seems to take pleasure in smoking where he knows it blows down into the gallery - at least whenever the security guards are elsewhere on their rounds. I can see he's angry about being pushed further and further away to do something that can be quite frowned upon and shamed nowadays. Perhaps my request for him to smoke where it didn't blow into the gallery felt like rejection to him, and now he gets some sense of vengeance by getting one back on me for having the audacity to ask him to move further away. I just asked him to move about 2 meters away (not even the legal 3m) out of the wind. I didn't yell when I spoke to him, in fact I felt horrible asking as I could palpably feel that I was touching a raw nerve. I empathised with his needs too as I was doing the asking and said I knew it sucked to be constantly asked to move, but that I was going to ask anyway. He not only flat out refused, but he had a good vent at me. I totally understand his frustration on a mental level. I don't accept it though. I believe that his right to smoke ends where my right to breathe clean air begins. I thought I'd caught him on a bad day, but it seems I've created an instant arch-enemy. I can see that in his mind it's fine to do something inconsiderate to me because he sees me as being inconsiderate or critical so I deserve it. The chances are that he's acting from a wound. Someone rejected him, criticised him or pushed him away and he's bitter. No 'well-balanced' or 'healed' person would react the way he did, nor the kids next door to me either. (FYI - note a few months later that both the old man and the noisy neighbours have both moved away).

The Walking Wounded!

I know that I for one have a massive fear of conflict and I will do my absolute best to avoid causing discomfort - as I know how it hurts deeply when it's done to me! However, in my attempts not to cause pain to another, I've often found I create just that and then some... Why? Is it because in my fear for both their and my fragility I am keeping us all small and on a soul level that frustrates all of us? Should I trust that in their wounds they are still fine and capable of being prodded. Was it my hesitance in approaching people and expecting to wake the hungry bear from hibernation that created the situation going down the way that it did. 

Is some people's anger/wounding so palpable that I instinctively knew when I was approaching them that this would burn me worse. Did my fear of rejection trigger theirs? 
Yet I still tried, so maybe I don't completely believe that they actually are 'breakable' and I haven't given up hope on the human spirit!

If only we were taught in school that if someone does something that upsets us: that it is a brilliant marker for an area in our life where we were not healed in yet!!! The appropriate reaction is to then go and look at what the wound is, not to react with anger and lash out in vengeance (Yes admittedly that's rich coming from me who - today - literally chased a homeless guy down the street for an absolutely revolting thing that he said to me!!! It would appear I'm not quite as zen yet as I'd like to be...)

I understand (mentally) the concept of polarity and that in a Universe where it exists if I am creating from the mind (which has two distinctly different hemispheres) rather than from the heart (which operates as a whole) then I will create as much of what I don't want as what I do... so I know I co-created this 'mess' with my neighbours at home and at work by being afraid of conflict happening in the first place.

I also understand (mentally) the concept that the world is my mirror and they are holding up a clear mirror that is showing me somewhere that I too am not healed within. The answer is always supposedly within, but I don't live in a cave in the mountains meditating 20 hours a day. I live in a bustling city. I can approach the problems from both directions. I haven't decided yet how. I have had to ask for some help with both conflicts for now. It's a process because life is a process. In the meantime I send them all some healing thoughts. 

Here's to healing the wounds with compassion and grace as the salve.